Tap Dancing

Sometimes I feel like I am Tap dancing around with recovery. Except I'm out of rhythm and sync to the tunes playing in my head. The constant fear, anxiety, and hopelessness can consume one's mind more than one would think when faced with the challenges of medical illness and living with an eating disorder. The battle to stay strong and focused with recovery can be so overwhelming when your body is not well.

Remembering your body needs fuel to heal and nourishment to stay strong in the eye of illness, can be such a challenge. Focusing in on your hunger cues on a good day can be so challenging to begin with. Today, was not the best day for me with recovery. I became so focused on everything else except myself. There are so many times I forget about myself. I get carried away with the woes of the day.

Finally, I sat down. Reflected on my day...

That's when I realized my road will have bumps, twists, and turns along the way. Recovery is not perfect, as I am not either or could be.

As part of my recovery, I started to write poems so I could express some feelings and today I leave you with this:  ***disclaimer*** I am no poet :)

A road less walked.
a path less taken.
a word to talk.

To begin a journey
and to fail at times
but to keep learning.

Failure is being stuck!
Learning from mistakes,
is much better luck.

A place so sacred and divine
to call your own
and begin to survive.

The pain and agony,
the loss and shame,
to learn to enjoy life fully.

To continue the steps
one foot forward
taking the leaps.

Recovery is a true journey!!!

                                                                                                          -A.N.T.