Scary day...

     It was a scary day, but I knew I had to do what I needed. A revolving door swung me through the gates of the beginning of a journey; living life. Life with an Eating Disorder (E.D.) was about to become non-existent. It was the year 2002 when I entered through that revolving door. Ten years later, I still struggle with recovery. I don't consider myself recovered, but I do think myself much healthier. I am living my life to its fullest, with struggles along the way.

     I also start this blog to write about my feelings, struggles, and happy moments. I hope to help myself while helping others along the way. I hope to instill hope and touch a soul in every blog entry I write. We are not alone. We all share similar emotions, feelings, and thoughts in some way or the other. You may not struggle with an eating disorder but can relate to struggles in life in some way or another. Please, know you are not alone in life. Every person has their own battles on the road of life.

     That said, today, I feel a bit of disgust with myself. E.D. is telling me I'm not good enough, I don't deserve food. I am trying my hardest to fight back and think about what is happening. I seem to be struggling with finding a clear picture of my underlining thoughts and feelings. When I think I am fat, I blame myself for eating "too many" calories the day before. But deep down inside, I know it was yesterday and not today. Today is a new day, and I deserve to be nourished.
       -A.N.T.