Stick-it to the Man!?!?!

    Today, I wake-up next to my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend that has taught me what true love means in the world of life. Everyday, I thank my lucky stars for the gift of love and life that I have been granted. But as the day progresses, our days part. She's off to work now and I'm left alone to my brain. I find myself thinking a lot about my past, future, and present. I'm left to the challenge. In the past, I have looked through a sliver of light. I thought I knew what life and love meant in the world. I was wrong. I am learning that I have to face the present day life as it comes surging forward in front of me. I feel helpless at times and find the urge to turn towards E.D. (Eating Disorder) to find solace.

     A wise person recently just told me, "things come to those that deserve the things that they have done. What goes around comes around." As my mind races, I think long and hard of my vulnerabilities and the passive approach to life I've took in the past. I've learned the hard way. I've learned to live life to it's fullest and to accept what has happened to me with a grain of salt at times. I've learned that the endless cycle of endless hope provided by E.D. will get me know where but deeper into the dark hole of life. It's a seductive cycle that ends not in happiness, but death (statistics). If solace is what I seek, then I look right in front of me among the gift of life and love from others.

     Even though things had seemed unattainable, things began to become attainable to me again. The fear of moving above and beyond to the unknown kept me stuck in a rut. Now, I am trudging through so much since last year at this time. Thus far, I have amazed myself. I feel and look healthier as a woman. For starters, E.D. doesn't rule my life everyday. I've learned to love myself unconditionally and accept where I am at in life at this very moment. I've learned how to pick myself up after hitting rock bottom from deceit, lies, and suffering. I've learned how to say, "NO" and be okay with my decisions. I've learned how to turn my finances around and discover what true-love truly means. I've learned to listen and trust in myself more and more everyday. I am finding solace in life without E.D.

-A.N.T.