ALONE and ALIVE

(Written in 2004: Alone)

Alone

I've never experienced love.

I fear life and death, 

never knowing which is better.

The pain and suffering I've numbed

keeps catching up to me.

With not knowing where to turn

and what to say.

It's fear of life and death

that keeps me befuddled in clouds.

When ready to throw the towel,

and hit rock bottom,

fearing to live life of my own,

it's fear of death that stuns me.

To awake me to my present life. 

To feel my own breath and heart beating

as I ascend to the stars.

(Written in 2014: Alive)

Alive

I'm experiencing love.

I fear death, 

knowing it's inevitable.

The pain and suffering I'm dealing with

keeps me living life.

With not knowing where to turn

and what to say at times.

It's the thralls of E.D. (eating disorder)

that keeps me befuddled in the clouds.

With the towel, I wipe the beads of sweat from my face,

and climb up to the top.

Succeeding to live life on my own.

No longer does the thralls of E.D. stun me.

I'm alive and living my life. 

To feel my own breath and heart beating

as I ascend to the stars.