Dark Hole

When things start to seem impossible such as cleaning, basic hygiene, and self-care, you should always question your state of mind. Don't wait till it's too late and you are stuck in a dark hole with little to no oxygen. One of the biggest red flags is coming off your medications, not sticking to your recovery, isolating, lack of sleep, and interest. Sometimes your behaviors change to unhealthy coping skills to numb out. Things begin to spiral out of control and can hit rock bottom. As much as you try to dig your way out with your bloody nails, things feel impossible for survival. You have hit rock bottom.

Currently, I am on the mend from digging out of my hole with my bloody nails. Things did not seem right especially on the inside. It was almost too late for me when I figured this out. I had hit another one of my rock bottoms in my dark hole. I was numbing out to reality and ignoring my red flags. A quick phone call and a ride later, I was on my way to seeking professional help.

At that time, I worked on a lot of myself and faced some more of my past. I tend to get stuck in my past. but I don't want to relive it over and over again. I am trying hard to enjoy the future and present, but i know i must face my past during the present in order to heal and move on from all of this suffering. It's been a rocky road for me. Relearning healthy coping skills and basic self-care again has helped me out a lot. If it wasn't for all my supports and my parents, I would be lost in time. Having a strong support system is really important to your recovery too. They may not fully understand your hurt and pain, but just hearing their voice means so much. It helps to instill hope; a reason to keep trudging along.

If you or a loved one is struggling, please don't hesitate to seek professional help. Eventually, it may be too late to get out of your dark hole. Take this opportunity to reach out to someone you have been wanting too and catch up. If you find yourself stuck, please seek help. I wish every one of you a happy and fruitful life.

-A.N.T.