Nightlights are the best!!!

The clock has struck midnight. There is no sound to be heard except the palpitating, racing heartbeat pounding through my chest. I begin to stir and look widely around into the darkness. I see a figure. I hear a footstep. Am I awake, or am I asleep? My mind does not know the difference between reality and vivid nightmares. I take a breath. I nod back off into the darkness. The footsteps reappear and begin to suffocate my soul. I wake up gasping for breaths, and the darkness lurks in the distance. I am still not sure where I am. I roll over to a stranger; I ask myself how and who is next to me? I take another breath. I begin to cry out in fear, yet my voice does not make a sound. I arise from my sleep, so I think.

I reach for my flashlight and aim it into the darkness that lures. The figure disappeared. The heart begins to pound from adrenaline. I sheepishly walk throughout the house, checking the locks and checking the windows for securing. The cats start to stir, and I hear their meows fading in the distance. Suddenly, I remember I am here. I am safe. I gingerly walk back into the bedroom and find a body, the body of my fiancee. I rest assured that I am safe. I head back into bed. Count backward from one hundred and fall back into another deep dark nightmare. 

- A. N. T.

What Dreams Become

     I wonder what life would be like if I became one of the numerous dreams I had as a child. Can you remember what your very first dream as a child was? What did you want to become when you "grew up?" Of course, I had two! I wanted to be the first professional female N.H.L. hockey player and a "Garbage Woman." I did not think it was unrealistic or unattainable. My life was full of endless dreams.

     As I grew older, my dreams changed. My mind was a tangled web filled with questions about myself, expectations, failures, fears, and reality, which led to my shattered dreams. I think that it is the best part of being a teenager. You must figure yourself out, independent of society. It is very unknown and scary at times. Eventually, my mind drifted between wanting to be a veterinarian and a professional runner, perhaps qualifying for the Olympics. Everything was trialed. I discovered that it was not indeed what I wanted to do in my life. I was still hitting the moon, looking for my star.

     Were my dreams really shattered, or did they just evolve into glowing, aspiring stars throughout my life's journey? I always had determination, knowing I would land among the stars in everything I pursued. I have lived and learned along my way. Failure is attainable because it means you have lived. It is not such a 'bad thing' at all. You stand strong and tall. Failure is doing what you thought you could not.

     With all my dreams in my youth, somehow, I followed every ambition with the drive to succeed, following thru with everything big or small. I learned in one way or the other that it was not indeed what I wanted to be in my life. At times, I was left more confused than before. But then there were other times I believed I had nailed it down. I did not quit, even if I felt defeated. There are several stars to land among. It is never a shooting star into happiness.

     When you think of your first dream, perhaps you laugh or say I am exactly where I believed I would be. Either way, do you embrace your life's journey to this day? I like to reflect on how I became to be where I am at this very moment. Sometimes tears were shed from the fear of the unknown and failure. Other times, I held my head high, knowing this was it. This is going to work. I have found my star. Once again, I shine. This is my dream.

     You may land among your star at any time in your life. And surprise stars come and go. What works today may not work tomorrow. I follow my passions, as shall you. I push through and forward to my goals. Unfortunately, it is not so linear, which makes life so unique to you. I looked up the definition of the word 'Dream' in the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

4a: A strongly desired goal or purpose. A dream to become president.

     President is not exactly my dream. However, I firmly believe I am always pursuing my desired goals by making a purpose in life. Do you know what that is for you? We all have a purpose in life. May you all find your star. Be your own shining star!
       

I am a strong, independent woman following my dreams.

- A.N.T.